Hollow cheeks and hollow morals are the name of the game in today’s climate, and while in the past we’ve assumed that the entire right-wing is tacky, tasteless, orange, and matte, a new wave of conservative tastemakers is on the rise.
Foreshadowed by the glorification of thinness, “old money,” hidden midriffs, tattoo removals, and toned-down makeup over the last few years — even Euphoria’s abandoning its iconic graphic, glitter looks — a group of chic young conservatives are changing the aesthetic and political landscape online. This new era of conservatism is distinctly minimalistic in its morals and styling choices.
On the moral end, many are taking cues from the popular Red Scare podcast, a cultural commentary show hosted by two cooler-than-thou New Yorkers, Anna Khachiyan and Dasha Nekrasova, known for their detached, ironic and, at times, Nihilistic takes. In a given episode, you may hear them mock identity politics, laugh with extremists like Alex Jones, brag about their anorexia, and defend Reaganomics with a flippant, cynical attitude.
They do this while keeping their fingers on the pulse of art and culture and throwing in liberal and even leftist takes — suggesting that they shrewdly see through it all in a way that you don’t – but secretly want to. This template has become the norm for young influencers who’ve gradually outed themselves as Trump voters after his victory.
This is a far cry from the slur-slinging southern stereotype of conservatives — it’s superficially cosmopolitan and sophisticated to appeal to a cultured, young, urban professional (yuppie) audience.
This ideology is underpinned by nihilism — while we usually associate doomerism with basement dwellers, the conservachic crowd uses their apathy to fuel selfish ambition and ambivalence. Their weariness with identity politics and progressive social movements leads them to forego white guilt, vote for politicians that promise upper-middle-class mobility, and guiltlessly brunch through pandemics because, in the words of Vanessa Hudgens, “people are gonna die, which is terrible but like… inevitable?”
Inevitability is their guiding principle, resigning themselves to suffering and oppression as if they’re forces of nature instead of arbitrary systems. Confronting these systems and their privileged place within them takes work, but it’s much easier to approach them with the classic Red Scare resignation that Anna and Dasha took when discussing mass deportations, passionately proclaiming, “I mean, I don’t want my maid to get deported.”
Fascism is nothing without aesthetics, and while most of this crowd are not dyed-in-the-wool fascists, their pared-down, “classic” styling choices signal and support its rise. Clean girl makeup and “old money” polyester faux Chanel seemed innocent enough at first, but now they seem to go hand in hand with a new thin-is-in, “natural” blonde, trad-wife wave.
These trends and the influencers promoting them have a way of looking down on their opposites — scorning the experimental and unconventional aesthetics often associated with queer folks and people of color for a more “timeless” beauty.
Much like conservative art historians balk at the idea that classic Greek & Roman statues were bold and brightly colored before they eroded to classic whiteness, the conservachic aesthetic movement rejects the woke rainbow and embraces bland homogeneity.
You’ll never go wrong with clean girl makeup, a slicked-back bun, no tattoos, and cream-colored size two business casual, but you’ll find it difficult to stand out, which is precisely the point.
The conservachic style guide ensures that you won’t make social, political, or stylistic waves — instead flowing seamlessly into the red wave that you should be swimming against.