Whenever I come home from college, my parents always bombard me with questions about my dating life. Every time, I roll my eyes and shut down their interrogation because I know they will never understand my generation's dating culture.
When they were in college, things were more simple. My dad told me he would go up to girls in public and give them his number, which they eagerly accepted. My mother told me most girls in her university were engaged before graduation. Nowadays, things have changed drastically.
Gen Z faces obstacles derived from its culture that make it challenging to get involved in stable relationships. From irrational “icks” to worries about coming off as too needy, there are elements to developing romantic, or even just sexual, relationships that past generations have never had to go through.
When I told my mom about a crush I had on this guy in my class, she wondered why I didn’t just ask him out. While this may seem like the most ideal outcome of my delusions, I couldn’t fathom coming off as that bold. I had to explain to her how, before you start dating someone, there is normally a “talking stage.” When I threw in this term, a puzzled expression crossed her face. Times like this I just give up on explaining the complex cycle of Gen Z’s dating culture.
I, too, have been a victim of not understanding hookup and dating lingo. My friends have told me opposing definitions, and there seems to be a lack of consensus. With this, I aim to delve into the diverse interpretations of slang relating to Gen Z hookup and dating culture in hopes of coming to a satisfying conclusion. For research purposes, I asked several peers to define the following terms:
Situationship:
[Quin, 20, she/her] “A situationship is something where two people have had ongoing communication, and it's acknowledged either directly or indirectly that two people are interested in each other. It’s not exclusive. That’s a key part.”
[Kaia, 21, she/her] “It’s really hard to define which is inherent given the situation. It’s two people who are interested in each other. Sometimes, they are exclusive, and other times, they aren’t. Usually, somebody would be willing to commit, but the other isn’t. Both parties might even be hesitant.”
[William, 21, he/him] “It’s past the talking stage where you are into hanging out with each other. It’s still super casual and low commitment. You aren’t necessarily exclusive, but there tends to be a coincidental exclusivity.”
Talking phase:
[Quin] “A talking stage typically leads into dating. This stage can last a long time and is very dependent on the relationship between the two people. It’s early on after getting to know someone but acknowledging that there’s something there.”
[Kaia]“Definitely not dating, but just hanging out and flirting. ”
[William] “The earliest phase of a relationship. It’s when you are texting or Snapping to get to know each other in an informal way. It’s really low stakes at this point.”
Two man:
[Quin] “I don’t really know what a ‘two man’ is, but from what I've gathered it’s two sets of friends that hang out with the intention of being intimate, but it’s split. Given the situation, they each have their own person.”
[Kaia] “A ‘two man’ is two girlies who want to have a good time with two guys. They can switch off, take turns, and it can go any manner of which way. Everyone is just down to have a good time.”
[William] “A guy might be into a girl and when he asks to hang out she insists on bringing her friend. A ‘two man’ would be if he brought his friend along to distract the girl’s friend so he could hit on the girl he’s interested in.”
Ghosting:
[Quin] “Cutting off communication without providing a reason out of the blue. It arises because people get too scared of commitment and don’t want to settle out of fear of being held back.”
[Kaia] “Ghosting is when you go completely no contact, often not giving a reason why. This could be because you got the ick or maybe because they just weren’t all what you expected them to be. Things are getting too serious.”
[William] “Cutting off all contact without explanation. I feel bad totally ghosting people, but what I'll do is just be short with them over text messages.”
Soft launch/Hard launch:
[Quin] “A soft launch and hard launch have to do with social media. A soft launch is posting something without revealing someone’s identity, but it’s clear something more than a friendship is going on. A hard launch includes showing face and giving identity to their significant other while also making it clear you’re in a romantic relationship.”
[Kaia] “A soft launch is when you're dating someone and you share a photo of something like their hand. Everyone in your [social media] following knows you're seeing someone but not the identity. A hard launch reveals who it is.”
[William] “This is typically over social media. A soft launch consists of posting an Instagram story that you’re on a date but being mysterious about who it is. A hard launch would be like posting a kissing photo and tagging your significant other in the post.”
Icks:
[Quin] “An ‘ick’ is something that is individual to a person, and it’s commonly applied to females talking about males. An ‘ick’ helps a girl see a guy in a less appealing way. I would say an ick for me is men trying to appeal to what they think a woman wants in a very obvious way.”
[Kaia] “Taking a guy off of a pedestal, just humanizing them and remembering that they’re a normal person who does weird things too. Icks are normally pretty irrational.”
[William] “The Gen Z word for something that turns you off or makes you less attracted. For example, being rude to waitstaff at a restaurant.”
Sneaky link:
[Quin] “Somebody who you always have on the back burner. If you want to scratch that itch, you hit up your sneaky link.”
[Kaia] “I think a sneaky link is someone you have a purely physical relationship with, but you are keeping it under wraps because you’re embarrassed by them.”
[William] “Someone you would hook up with repeatedly, but it’s totally discrete. You may only tell your closest inner circle you are seeing this person. Typically all lust and no intentions of becoming anything super serious.”
Hopefully, this glossary of Gen Z dating lingo brought you a little bit up to speed on our complexities.
Komentáře